Just a little update

     I have not posted in a while.  I feel like i am the worst at keeping a record of our lives but I am going to try to be better about posting.  Lately I fell like we have been so busy.  I was called into primary but i only teach every other week, but i also do activity days.  I really have liked it so far.  We get to do fun things and try and teach the girls as well.  They are all really sweet and I get along with my partner really well.
      I am sad summer is over because we won't get to visit family as much.  We have got to see my family almost every other week and Matts family about the same!  Sometimes I wish we all lived in the same town but then i would never miss them.  I wish i would have posted more because i can't remember all the things we have done, well i can but not in detail.  We have gone hiking, swimming in mesquite, Jaxon loves to go swing at the park just down the street.
      Jaxon has grown so much.  He eats like crazy too.  Not so much his bottle (today he only had 8 oz total)  he loves baby food and flavored rice cereal.  He can eat a whole thing of baby food and some cereal and still be hungry.  I told Matt I am not sure how we are going to keep up with him when he is older.  He is also starting to crawl and sometimes in the bathtub he will pull him self up so he is standing.  I just think where did my baby go?  Anyways i will do a post just about Jaxon at 9 months soon.
      Lately Matt and I have been trying to do more stuff together.  I now have my own fantasy football team, (which i am totally loosing), and i surprised Matt with the new Star Trek Into Darkness movie for a little date night.  It sounds nerdy but its actually one of my new favorite movies.  I have started to look for a job here in st. george.  I am not sure really in what.  I loved my old job as a Dental Lab Technician, i felt like i found my calling in life.  Anyways hopefully I can do something with that.  I don't know if i want to work full time though but something would be nice.  Not that I don't love staying home with Jaxon because i do but Matt and I talked about it and its something that we need to do.  
   

sickness :(

         Ok so my little guy has been extremely sick.  I have been one worried mom plus i have been almost just as sick as him so its been a long week to say the least.  Last Thursday (the 11th) he started coughing.  I was a little worried but i was just hoping he had a little cold and it would go away in a few days.  Well the next morning around 5 he woke up like he normally does to eat.  I went at got him but he was having a problem breathing.  He sounded like he had water in his mouth and was trying to breath at the same time.  I got him to cough up a little and then he fell back asleep.  I put him in bed with me, (matt was already up getting ready to go to work), so i could watch him.  I could not sleep i was just so worried he would stop breathing or something.  You also have to know that ever since Jaxon was born he has never been able to take a deep breath.  Our doctor has been really great to help us figure out why.  We think he has asthma but we are not sure since you can't test it till he is older.  He also wheezes most of the time and we are still trying to figure out why.  Ok anyways so with his breathing problems and him getting sick it was not a good thing.  I took him to insta care because our doctor was not in that day and they gave him a breathing treatment and had us by the nebulizer machine so i could give him breathing treatments at home.  So we did that all weekend and he was just getting worse and worse.  I didn't know what to do, I was doing all I could and I felt like I was failing him.  I just wanted to get him better.
      Monday I took him to the doctor and he was one sick little boy by then.  His eyes where swollen, his ears where infected and he could hardly breath.  So our doctor put him on singular, a steroid, and an antibiotic.   But while the doctor was looking at him he suddenly stopped breathing,  it was so scary, thank goodness the doctor was there to help him but i just wanted to cry,  I knew this was really bad.  So we got a chest X ray. And it turns out he has pneumonia and Bronchitis.  So we had to put him on stronger medicine.  It has definitely helped but he is still having a problem breathing.  He just can't take a full breath.  Its really scary to watch.  He also has such a stuffy nose and is so full of mucus.  I am doing all i can to clean out his nose but he still sounds terrible.  He usually has so much energy and is so excited about almost anything.  Lately he has just wanted to lay there and just not really do much.  I hate it I just want my happy healthy baby back.  The doctor told us that there is a slight chance that his heart might not be strong enough to take a deep breath, which is really scary but we don't know right now, but if so we will deal with it as it comes.  I have also been really sick, I can hardly breath my self and i have no energy.  Its so hard to take care of him when i am so sick, but I want to do everything i can to get him better.  Thankfully my sweet mother in law came down to help us.  seriously i don't know what i would have done with out her.  Jaxon has a doctors appointment on Monday so hopefully we can get him feeling better.
        We have also decided to find our dog a new home,  We love her and we will miss her but with Jaxon's breathing problems its just not a good idea to have her in our home.  Hopefully we will find her a new home soon.

5 Months

Well Jaxon is now five and half months, Its crazy how fast the time has gone by.  He has been sleeping really good at night which is so nice!  We have been really busy since the last time i posted.  We have been getting ready for Jaxon to get a helmet for his head shape.  It sounds like we are over reacting but i promise he really needs it.  On the back right of his head he has a huge flat spot and what it has started to do is push his for head out on the right side of his face.  So if we don't do something the left side of his head would be really small and the other side really wide.  We have been going to provo every week for the past 3 weeks.  We had to take him up so they could send pictures to our insurance, then the next week they had to scan his head, then last week we actually got the helmet.  Let me tell you this is really hard for me and Jaxon.  I just feel so bad for the little guy because really its my fault. I let him sleep on the same side all the time, i tried and tried to get him to turn to the other but he didn't want to.  I even got up at night to go switch him but it never lasted vary long.  I should have tried harder or something.  The helmet really does not hurt him it just really hot. And of course its over a hundred degrees outside here.  Ugh.  normally i love the heat but not right now.  anyways I just feel so guilty because we can't go outside during the day or in the car because of the heat.  so i feel like he has to live in this little bubble.  I keep my air conditioner cooler then i normally would so he does not over heat.  He has to get used to it slowly.  the first day it was an hour on then hour off, then next day two hours on then one hour off. Today is the 3rd day and its 4 hours on and 1 hour off.  eventually we have to get to 23 hours a day.  Yeah i know its a lot, but the more he wears it the faster we can take it off for good!  they said he will probably be in it for 9 weeks.  We have to go up Monday for another fitting then every 3 weeks after that.  Hopefully it will go by fast and it will all be over.  I have to say i am pretty proud of the little guy.  He has taken wearing the helmet all right.  He gets a little fussy but really he is doing pretty good, probably better then me.  He has figured out that he can hit his toys against his head, which is kinda funny.  I found a company that makes designs to put on the helmets so i am excited about that.  I have ordered them but they have to get measurements from me after we go to his fitting monday because they do adjustments and if you put time on before they will end up lop sided.  Hopefully it will turn out cute, and we can make the best of it.
          Other then our helmet adventure we have been loving summer.  (besides the heat because of the whole helmet thing.)  My sisters came down for a week and it was so much fun.  My grandma took them to mesquite for a couple of nights and Jaxon and I went down one day to go swimming.  He loved it once he got over the shock of getting in the pool.  It was so fun and he slashed and played around in the pool then took a long nap.

Jaxon 3 Months

     I feel kinda bad because i have not updated out blog in a long time.  We have been really busy lately.  We finally bought a house in Ivins.  I do love having our own house!  I was so tired of paying rent, i just felt like we could put our money towards our own mortgage instead of some one else's.   But anyways Jaxon is about 3 1/2 months old now.  Its crazy how time goes so fast.  I feel like we just brought him home from the hospital and he was so little.   Now he is about 15 pounds and 25 inches tall.  He is in the 80th percentile for weight and height   so he is fairly tall, who would have guessed we would have a tall child.  A few weeks ago he started to want to stand.  Not on his own of course but if you stand him up on his feet he can hold most of his weight.  I am really surprised at how strong he is.  His littler personality has really started to show.  He is happy most of the time and laughs and giggles at almost anything, he is also ticklish.  I just think how did i get so lucky to have such a happy baby.  He hates tummy time, like really hates it.  I think its because he likes to sit up and watch whats going on.  He think he is a lot like Matt.  Matt's mom said that he was just happy and laughing all the time.  We have to go to his 4 month appointment soon and that means he has to get shots.  I just hate it, last time i was a little teary, its so sad to watch.  I just feel so lucky to be his mom, and honestly it seems weird that we went almost 3 years with out having him.

Jaxon with his great Grandpa on his blessing day!

He would laugh every time i brought him close to my face!

Our 2012

     I know its a little late but I just want to make a record of what happened in this past year:

January:
Matt was living in Phoenix, still at the police academy.  I was working still but I was done with school, thank goodness.  This was the longest time Matt and I would have to be apart.  I got to go down and see him during Christmas but I would not get to see him till March.  :(

February:
This was a long month for me.  Matt and I had been apart for so long.  The police academy was getting better for Matt.  They finally got to do fun stuff like learning to drive on a driving track, learn defensive skills, and just do more hands on stuff then they have.

March:
I finally got to fly down and see Matt for 3 days!  Its went by so fast but i knew i would get so see him in April because that's when he would graduate from the academy!!!

April:
On April 6th Matt officially became a Police officer for the State of Arizona!!!  I was so proud of him and I am glad i got to see him graduate and pin his badge on him.  His parents, grandma Jean and sister drove down with me to his gradation.  I was so glad they got to see him graduate and see what he had been doing for the past 5 months.  He also got to come home finally!!! We also found out at the end of this month that we would be having a baby at Christmas time!!

May:
I finally Graduated from college.  I received a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice with a minor in psychology.  What I plan to do with my degree, well I have no idea.  Our poor little red car broke down.  We could have fixed it but it would have cost more money to fix it then the car was worth plus we wanted to by a new car because neither of our cars had 4 doors.  (with a baby on the way that was a must.)  So we bought t new car!!! (well new for us but used car to to be clear)

June:
We had our first Doctors appointment to since we found out we were pregnant.  We chose Dr. Bilanzich, I was kinda nervous about the appointment but after meeting our doctor and talking with him I felt that we had chosen the right doctor for us.  He was very understanding.  I was so nervous about the first ultrasound (i was even crying)  and Matt had to leave because he was going to pass out.  But when I first heard our baby's heart beat and he was healthy I was so excited and relieved.

July:
My 22nd birthday!  I really was not that excited.  I just feel like 22 is so much older then 21.

August:
We were going to the doctors once a month.  Each time I was worried we would not be able to find a heart beat but each time it was strong and healthy.  We found out we were having a boy!!  Matt brother Anthony also got married this month.  It was so exciting to watch him marry his sweetheart!

September:
Um.. nothing much really happened this month.  Just work.  We did start aggressively looking for a house to buy in St. George.

October:
Matt would officially be employed with the state of Arizona for a year this month.  It was exciting because he would be off probation and get a raise!  Matt's other brother who married a girl in El Salvador a year and half ago was now legal to come to the U.S. and we finally got to meet her.

November:
It was getting closer to my due date!! We started going to the doctors every two weeks now!  It seemed to come so fast.

December:
This was a big month for us.  At the first of the month we found a house we loved and we put a bid in on it and they accepted!! We are so excited.  It has not closed yet we still have another week but still it's exiting.  We had a baby shower at my mother in laws house!  We got so much stuff and I was so thankful for everyone that came!  My due date was fast approaching but at our doctors appointments I was not dilated or effaced at all.  So it looked like Jaxon would not be here till 2013.  We made a date for me to get induced on the 2nd.  Well all of a sudden Jaxon decided to come and he was born on December 26th 2012.  We became parents! What a great ending to such a great year!

Baby Update!

     Jaxon is now 3 weeks old.  I don't know where the time has gone.  It seems like we just brought him home from the hospital.  He has been such a good baby so far.  He does not really cry to much and he does its more of like a whimper.  I am not going to lie this is one of the hardest things I have ever done but its so worth it.  I love it when he is sleeping and smiles or makes funny faces.  Last week was a hard week for me because I hadn't gotten much sleep but Thursday morning I woke up with Jaxon to feed him and all of a sudden i didn't really feel so great.  I had to put him down and go to the bathroom.  I was so sick and in pain. I didn't know what was going on.  Then i started bleeding like crazy.  Then I all of a sudden here comes what looks like a huge blood clot, and i mean huge. At least 6 inches long, not even kidding.  I actually had to pull it out my self and then i started bleeding really bad, so bad i felt like was going to pass out.  All the while Jaxon is crying in his crib because he was hungry.  I felt so bad that I could not feed him.  So i called my husband to see what I should do and he said probably go the the er.  So i called my sister in law to come get me and my mother in law to meet us at the hospital.  I was really shaky and cold and I was nervous i was going to pass out because that's what was happening to me when i was in labor.  Anyways we got there and they took me in and did a whole bunch of tests and they figured out my placenta had a probe grow off of it and that's what made an appearance that morning.  So they kept me there to keep me on an IV and make sure my blood pressure would stay up.  Mean while my mother in law took Jaxon back to our house.  I was so sad he we had to separate but i knew it was for the best.  I did not want him to get sick and i could not take very good care of him.  After all that i felt like i had a baby again.  I was so warn out and I could hardly walk.  Thank goodness for my mother in law and my mom.  They came to my rescue.  They took care of Jaxon at night for a few days so I could rest.  I was so thankful, not because I don't want to take care of him but I knew i needed help to get me back on track so i could take care of him again.  Anyways things are much better now and we just love having Jaxon.  Its so weird to think we went two and a half years without having him.  You always here people say oh I can't imagine life with out him.  Its really true i can't.  I don't know what i did with all my time before but it just seems like i did nothing important before.  Now I feel like I am actually doing something with my time that is worth something.  If we didn't have him I would probably get more sleep but I would never trade for anything.  I just love being a mom, even though I have had my break downs it so worth it.

Here a just a few pictures we have taken of him:

Jaxon's Big Debut

Sunday December 23rd 2012:

       Sunday I woke up feeling fine.  My sister was actually at my house that morning and we were planing on going to my moms for the day!  So we left and headed to my moms that morning.  We got there and ate lunch/dinner and my mom need to make a trip to Walmart for some last minute shopping before Christmas.  I know it was Sunday and we should not go shopping but I decided to go with her.  While we where walking around I started to not feel so great.  I didn't really think much of it I just was sick to my stomach and I had some major cramps.  When we got back it was around 5 and I told Matt that we should probably head home because I was not feeling so good.  So I drove home but I probably shouldn't have.  I started to have some major pain, but I didn't want to tell Matt because he was so tired and I didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing.  We got to Parowan (where Matt's parents live) and I decided that we should spend the night there.  So I still didn't really say anything to Matt about my cramps, which where turning into contractions, and we just watched a movie till around 9 and i said that I was going to go take a shower and go to bed.  So I did and my contractions started to coming every half hour.  And each one i just wanted to scream.  Ugh its some of the worst pain i have ever felt.  I just waited for Matt to come to bed.  He was hanging out with his brothers that he never really gets to see so I didn't want to take away that time from him.  He came to bed and I told him what was going on.  His first reaction was "ah do we need to go to the hospital."  I said no because I knew my contractions needed to be closer together.  So I said lets try to get some sleep.  Matt went to sleep but I didn't.  I was in far to much pain.  All night long my contractions kept coming 30 minutes apart.  I woke Matt up at 3 because I just couldn't do it alone anymore.  I needed him.  So he said lets call the hospital and see what they say.  And they said exactly what I thought they would.  That my contractions needed to be closer together.  Matt helped me get into the bath tub so that maybe I would not be in so much pain and could sleep.  He sat with me the whole time.  He was so sweet.  After that I did get some sleep till about 8.  

Monday December 24th

     When I woke up I was still having contractions every 30 Minutes.  They did stop for a few hours during the day, which was nice.  But around 2 they came back.  Still just the same every 30 minutes. Matt's parents had a Christmas Party planned that night with the whole family.  I really wanted to go because I wanted to see everyone and Matt's mom made this really good soup, (a copy cat recipe from olive garden!!!)  By the time the party came my contractions had gottin more intense but not closer together.  I could hardly stand or  keep from tearing up with each one.  We ate which after all day of smelling the soup i did't get to eat much but that's ok.  When the party was almost over Matt and I decided that I should go to labor and delivery to see if i was dilated or what.  So we get there and they hook me up to monitors to check to make sure Jaxon was not under stress and he was fine!  Then they checked me and I was dilated to a 1.  I was like you are kidding me. I just thought i would be further along after all that.  So I was still in a lot of pain so they gave me some pain medication and a sleeping pill. We went home I took a bath, not because I just love baths or something but it really helped with the pain.  So finally around Midnight we went to sleep.  I slept for about two hours and then woke up with some intense contractions

Tuesday December 25th

    Ok so I woke up and my contractions had gotten so bad. I was in screaming pain. It sounds ridiculous but really.  They were still 30 minutes apart though.  I was not really feeling so good, i felt like i was going to throw up.  I thought maybe it was because i didn't really eat much and took a ton of medicine, so I decide to eat.  I pored a bowl of cereal and sat on the couch to eat.  Right when Matt walks down the stairs all I could say was "bucket".  I knew i was going to puke.  Matt scrambled and scrambled to find one and by the time he did he was a little late.  I threw up all over the floor, him, and me.  I got up and all of a sudden a huge gush of water falls to the ground.  So we thought my water broke.  So we go into labor and delivery.  They do this test to see if it really was my water broke, it didn't, i just peed my pants i guess. They checked me and i was at a two and half.  I was kinda upset at this point.  Not at anyone or anything i just wanted to get the show on the road.  They kept me to watch Jaxons vitals and to see if i would dilate any more.  It was round 12 and they checked me again and I was still the same.  So they sent me home and they said to do stuff, to try to get myself dilated more so they could give me an epidural.  So I came home and shampooed my carpets, because i threw up all over them.  It worked because my contractions started coming 5 minutes apart   It was the most pain i had ever been in but I was so happy because that meant that our little guy was coming.  We went to the hospital around 5 and they still had my room that i was in earlier the way i left it.  So that was kind of nice.  They checked me and i was barley at a 3.  They started me on an IV and hooked me up to the monitors that watch the babies heart beat and my contractions.  So now we just had to wait.  I could not get an epidural yet so we just waited and Matt helped me get through my contractions.  It was a long long night. My mom was also there and she stayed with us for most of the time.  I was so glad she was there.  They finally let me get an epidural around 11.  I was really scared of it but I was in so much pain i didn't care anymore.  The guy that did it was really good.  He tried to tell jokes and keep my mind off it but it was so hard because i had two major contractions right in the middle.  But i didn't move and I was so relieved when it started working.  They did give me a button to push if i felt a lot of pain, i had pushed it twice, because i was still in a lot of pain for some reason.  Around midnight I my mom and my grandma where in my room, (Matt was out in talking to his family)  and all I remember is my mom telling my grandma to go get the nurse right away.  I thought huh that's funny, but i could tell something was wrong, i could not concentrate.  I tried to tell my mom but I couldn't.  The next thing i remember was waking up with a face mask on and everyone was a little panicked.  My blood pressure had dropped really low and i passed out.  (my memory gets a little fuzzy but i will try to remember what happened).  I don't know how much time passed, not very much, but the nurse decided that she would check me again.  She laid me down and I remember getting really shaky, and some where in between all this the doctor was there because it was time to break my water.  (that's why she was wanting to check me in the first place)  I remember shaking so bad and then i woke up and with the doctor right next to me watching jaxon's and my vitals and then they put some stuff in my IV that would keep my blood pressure from dropping again.  (somewhere in all this i was throwing up, and my mom kept cleaning me off, thanks mom!)  After they got me stable they broke my water, and then we just had to wait.  Then everyone went home for a few hours to sleep.  Matt stayed with me of course and he was so sweet.  He had tears in his eyes when it was just the two of us.  I will never forget it.  I think i fell so much more in love with him at that moment.

Wednesday, December 26th

     Around 1 I was in a lot of pain.  Something was wrong with my epidural.  The pump started beeping like crazy.  The nurse came in but she didn't really know how to fix it.  She tried her hardest but the anesthesiologist was in helping with a surgery.  And he would not be done till two.  It was a long hour to say the least but finally he came in.  Did some stuff with all the tubes, looked at my back and said that he probably fixed it.  I felt it working again but not really that great.  I was still in a lot of pain.  but i didn't say anything until it started beeping again, and my pain got worse.  So he comes in again and fiddles with it then walks out. the second he does it beeps again, then he checks the batteries, and they where dead. So he had to get a new pump. After that it worked great until the medicine ran out.  So then my contractions slowly got stronger and stronger, it was about an hour and a half until they could get the pharmacy to give me another bad of medicine. I don't know why but it took forever.  By now it was 2:30 in the morning.  They said to try to get some rest but i knew that the time to push was coming but i didn't really say anything because i knew Matt needed to sleep and in the next room a lady had been pushing for two hours. (ugh i felt so bad for her.) by 3:30 I beeped the nurse and told her that i felt some major pressure, and i told Matt to call my mom and his parents to get down to the hospital. I need my mom there and I was so glad she was able to come in the room with us.  I did notice that Matt was pacing back and forth and was really nervous so I told my mom to go get his mom.  Some people might think its a little weird to have your mother-in-law in the room while giving birth but we have a pretty good relationship, and my privacy went out the window a long time before that.  The nurse didn't have to check me Jaxon's head was already showing.  So they got me ready to start pushing.  Finally my mom got there and Matt's parents and I started pushing at 3:55.  By this point in time I was so ready to meet our little guy.  I had been in labor for 3 days and i was determined to make him come fast, even though they said usually first time moms have to push for a couple of hours.  (i just thought ugh how am i going to do this)  Anyways I started pushing and i could feel him coming.  It was the most amazing, and scary feeling.  I tried to listen to the nurses and the doctor and try to do everything they say.  about 15 minutes later they said his head was popping out and that he had lots of hair.  I was so excited, i wanted to see him so bad (but i was not about to peek down there, way to scary)  So with each contraction i did my best to push him out and ten minutes later I saw him in the doctors arms.  He was not crying yet, the doctor did something to get all the gunk out of his mouth and he let out a huge cry.  I felt so much love at that moment.  He was beautiful.  They handed him to me and it made all the pain of the last 3 days worth it.  I thought wow how lucky we are to have him, and him be healthy.  They let me hold him for about two hours because the girl in the other room was still pushing.  (that poor women)  They had me feed him and then they cleaned him off, gave him some shots, and then weighed and measured him.  He weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces, and was 19 inches.