Our 2012

     I know its a little late but I just want to make a record of what happened in this past year:

January:
Matt was living in Phoenix, still at the police academy.  I was working still but I was done with school, thank goodness.  This was the longest time Matt and I would have to be apart.  I got to go down and see him during Christmas but I would not get to see him till March.  :(

February:
This was a long month for me.  Matt and I had been apart for so long.  The police academy was getting better for Matt.  They finally got to do fun stuff like learning to drive on a driving track, learn defensive skills, and just do more hands on stuff then they have.

March:
I finally got to fly down and see Matt for 3 days!  Its went by so fast but i knew i would get so see him in April because that's when he would graduate from the academy!!!

April:
On April 6th Matt officially became a Police officer for the State of Arizona!!!  I was so proud of him and I am glad i got to see him graduate and pin his badge on him.  His parents, grandma Jean and sister drove down with me to his gradation.  I was so glad they got to see him graduate and see what he had been doing for the past 5 months.  He also got to come home finally!!! We also found out at the end of this month that we would be having a baby at Christmas time!!

May:
I finally Graduated from college.  I received a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice with a minor in psychology.  What I plan to do with my degree, well I have no idea.  Our poor little red car broke down.  We could have fixed it but it would have cost more money to fix it then the car was worth plus we wanted to by a new car because neither of our cars had 4 doors.  (with a baby on the way that was a must.)  So we bought t new car!!! (well new for us but used car to to be clear)

June:
We had our first Doctors appointment to since we found out we were pregnant.  We chose Dr. Bilanzich, I was kinda nervous about the appointment but after meeting our doctor and talking with him I felt that we had chosen the right doctor for us.  He was very understanding.  I was so nervous about the first ultrasound (i was even crying)  and Matt had to leave because he was going to pass out.  But when I first heard our baby's heart beat and he was healthy I was so excited and relieved.

July:
My 22nd birthday!  I really was not that excited.  I just feel like 22 is so much older then 21.

August:
We were going to the doctors once a month.  Each time I was worried we would not be able to find a heart beat but each time it was strong and healthy.  We found out we were having a boy!!  Matt brother Anthony also got married this month.  It was so exciting to watch him marry his sweetheart!

September:
Um.. nothing much really happened this month.  Just work.  We did start aggressively looking for a house to buy in St. George.

October:
Matt would officially be employed with the state of Arizona for a year this month.  It was exciting because he would be off probation and get a raise!  Matt's other brother who married a girl in El Salvador a year and half ago was now legal to come to the U.S. and we finally got to meet her.

November:
It was getting closer to my due date!! We started going to the doctors every two weeks now!  It seemed to come so fast.

December:
This was a big month for us.  At the first of the month we found a house we loved and we put a bid in on it and they accepted!! We are so excited.  It has not closed yet we still have another week but still it's exiting.  We had a baby shower at my mother in laws house!  We got so much stuff and I was so thankful for everyone that came!  My due date was fast approaching but at our doctors appointments I was not dilated or effaced at all.  So it looked like Jaxon would not be here till 2013.  We made a date for me to get induced on the 2nd.  Well all of a sudden Jaxon decided to come and he was born on December 26th 2012.  We became parents! What a great ending to such a great year!

Baby Update!

     Jaxon is now 3 weeks old.  I don't know where the time has gone.  It seems like we just brought him home from the hospital.  He has been such a good baby so far.  He does not really cry to much and he does its more of like a whimper.  I am not going to lie this is one of the hardest things I have ever done but its so worth it.  I love it when he is sleeping and smiles or makes funny faces.  Last week was a hard week for me because I hadn't gotten much sleep but Thursday morning I woke up with Jaxon to feed him and all of a sudden i didn't really feel so great.  I had to put him down and go to the bathroom.  I was so sick and in pain. I didn't know what was going on.  Then i started bleeding like crazy.  Then I all of a sudden here comes what looks like a huge blood clot, and i mean huge. At least 6 inches long, not even kidding.  I actually had to pull it out my self and then i started bleeding really bad, so bad i felt like was going to pass out.  All the while Jaxon is crying in his crib because he was hungry.  I felt so bad that I could not feed him.  So i called my husband to see what I should do and he said probably go the the er.  So i called my sister in law to come get me and my mother in law to meet us at the hospital.  I was really shaky and cold and I was nervous i was going to pass out because that's what was happening to me when i was in labor.  Anyways we got there and they took me in and did a whole bunch of tests and they figured out my placenta had a probe grow off of it and that's what made an appearance that morning.  So they kept me there to keep me on an IV and make sure my blood pressure would stay up.  Mean while my mother in law took Jaxon back to our house.  I was so sad he we had to separate but i knew it was for the best.  I did not want him to get sick and i could not take very good care of him.  After all that i felt like i had a baby again.  I was so warn out and I could hardly walk.  Thank goodness for my mother in law and my mom.  They came to my rescue.  They took care of Jaxon at night for a few days so I could rest.  I was so thankful, not because I don't want to take care of him but I knew i needed help to get me back on track so i could take care of him again.  Anyways things are much better now and we just love having Jaxon.  Its so weird to think we went two and a half years without having him.  You always here people say oh I can't imagine life with out him.  Its really true i can't.  I don't know what i did with all my time before but it just seems like i did nothing important before.  Now I feel like I am actually doing something with my time that is worth something.  If we didn't have him I would probably get more sleep but I would never trade for anything.  I just love being a mom, even though I have had my break downs it so worth it.

Here a just a few pictures we have taken of him:

Jaxon's Big Debut

Sunday December 23rd 2012:

       Sunday I woke up feeling fine.  My sister was actually at my house that morning and we were planing on going to my moms for the day!  So we left and headed to my moms that morning.  We got there and ate lunch/dinner and my mom need to make a trip to Walmart for some last minute shopping before Christmas.  I know it was Sunday and we should not go shopping but I decided to go with her.  While we where walking around I started to not feel so great.  I didn't really think much of it I just was sick to my stomach and I had some major cramps.  When we got back it was around 5 and I told Matt that we should probably head home because I was not feeling so good.  So I drove home but I probably shouldn't have.  I started to have some major pain, but I didn't want to tell Matt because he was so tired and I didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing.  We got to Parowan (where Matt's parents live) and I decided that we should spend the night there.  So I still didn't really say anything to Matt about my cramps, which where turning into contractions, and we just watched a movie till around 9 and i said that I was going to go take a shower and go to bed.  So I did and my contractions started to coming every half hour.  And each one i just wanted to scream.  Ugh its some of the worst pain i have ever felt.  I just waited for Matt to come to bed.  He was hanging out with his brothers that he never really gets to see so I didn't want to take away that time from him.  He came to bed and I told him what was going on.  His first reaction was "ah do we need to go to the hospital."  I said no because I knew my contractions needed to be closer together.  So I said lets try to get some sleep.  Matt went to sleep but I didn't.  I was in far to much pain.  All night long my contractions kept coming 30 minutes apart.  I woke Matt up at 3 because I just couldn't do it alone anymore.  I needed him.  So he said lets call the hospital and see what they say.  And they said exactly what I thought they would.  That my contractions needed to be closer together.  Matt helped me get into the bath tub so that maybe I would not be in so much pain and could sleep.  He sat with me the whole time.  He was so sweet.  After that I did get some sleep till about 8.  

Monday December 24th

     When I woke up I was still having contractions every 30 Minutes.  They did stop for a few hours during the day, which was nice.  But around 2 they came back.  Still just the same every 30 minutes. Matt's parents had a Christmas Party planned that night with the whole family.  I really wanted to go because I wanted to see everyone and Matt's mom made this really good soup, (a copy cat recipe from olive garden!!!)  By the time the party came my contractions had gottin more intense but not closer together.  I could hardly stand or  keep from tearing up with each one.  We ate which after all day of smelling the soup i did't get to eat much but that's ok.  When the party was almost over Matt and I decided that I should go to labor and delivery to see if i was dilated or what.  So we get there and they hook me up to monitors to check to make sure Jaxon was not under stress and he was fine!  Then they checked me and I was dilated to a 1.  I was like you are kidding me. I just thought i would be further along after all that.  So I was still in a lot of pain so they gave me some pain medication and a sleeping pill. We went home I took a bath, not because I just love baths or something but it really helped with the pain.  So finally around Midnight we went to sleep.  I slept for about two hours and then woke up with some intense contractions

Tuesday December 25th

    Ok so I woke up and my contractions had gotten so bad. I was in screaming pain. It sounds ridiculous but really.  They were still 30 minutes apart though.  I was not really feeling so good, i felt like i was going to throw up.  I thought maybe it was because i didn't really eat much and took a ton of medicine, so I decide to eat.  I pored a bowl of cereal and sat on the couch to eat.  Right when Matt walks down the stairs all I could say was "bucket".  I knew i was going to puke.  Matt scrambled and scrambled to find one and by the time he did he was a little late.  I threw up all over the floor, him, and me.  I got up and all of a sudden a huge gush of water falls to the ground.  So we thought my water broke.  So we go into labor and delivery.  They do this test to see if it really was my water broke, it didn't, i just peed my pants i guess. They checked me and i was at a two and half.  I was kinda upset at this point.  Not at anyone or anything i just wanted to get the show on the road.  They kept me to watch Jaxons vitals and to see if i would dilate any more.  It was round 12 and they checked me again and I was still the same.  So they sent me home and they said to do stuff, to try to get myself dilated more so they could give me an epidural.  So I came home and shampooed my carpets, because i threw up all over them.  It worked because my contractions started coming 5 minutes apart   It was the most pain i had ever been in but I was so happy because that meant that our little guy was coming.  We went to the hospital around 5 and they still had my room that i was in earlier the way i left it.  So that was kind of nice.  They checked me and i was barley at a 3.  They started me on an IV and hooked me up to the monitors that watch the babies heart beat and my contractions.  So now we just had to wait.  I could not get an epidural yet so we just waited and Matt helped me get through my contractions.  It was a long long night. My mom was also there and she stayed with us for most of the time.  I was so glad she was there.  They finally let me get an epidural around 11.  I was really scared of it but I was in so much pain i didn't care anymore.  The guy that did it was really good.  He tried to tell jokes and keep my mind off it but it was so hard because i had two major contractions right in the middle.  But i didn't move and I was so relieved when it started working.  They did give me a button to push if i felt a lot of pain, i had pushed it twice, because i was still in a lot of pain for some reason.  Around midnight I my mom and my grandma where in my room, (Matt was out in talking to his family)  and all I remember is my mom telling my grandma to go get the nurse right away.  I thought huh that's funny, but i could tell something was wrong, i could not concentrate.  I tried to tell my mom but I couldn't.  The next thing i remember was waking up with a face mask on and everyone was a little panicked.  My blood pressure had dropped really low and i passed out.  (my memory gets a little fuzzy but i will try to remember what happened).  I don't know how much time passed, not very much, but the nurse decided that she would check me again.  She laid me down and I remember getting really shaky, and some where in between all this the doctor was there because it was time to break my water.  (that's why she was wanting to check me in the first place)  I remember shaking so bad and then i woke up and with the doctor right next to me watching jaxon's and my vitals and then they put some stuff in my IV that would keep my blood pressure from dropping again.  (somewhere in all this i was throwing up, and my mom kept cleaning me off, thanks mom!)  After they got me stable they broke my water, and then we just had to wait.  Then everyone went home for a few hours to sleep.  Matt stayed with me of course and he was so sweet.  He had tears in his eyes when it was just the two of us.  I will never forget it.  I think i fell so much more in love with him at that moment.

Wednesday, December 26th

     Around 1 I was in a lot of pain.  Something was wrong with my epidural.  The pump started beeping like crazy.  The nurse came in but she didn't really know how to fix it.  She tried her hardest but the anesthesiologist was in helping with a surgery.  And he would not be done till two.  It was a long hour to say the least but finally he came in.  Did some stuff with all the tubes, looked at my back and said that he probably fixed it.  I felt it working again but not really that great.  I was still in a lot of pain.  but i didn't say anything until it started beeping again, and my pain got worse.  So he comes in again and fiddles with it then walks out. the second he does it beeps again, then he checks the batteries, and they where dead. So he had to get a new pump. After that it worked great until the medicine ran out.  So then my contractions slowly got stronger and stronger, it was about an hour and a half until they could get the pharmacy to give me another bad of medicine. I don't know why but it took forever.  By now it was 2:30 in the morning.  They said to try to get some rest but i knew that the time to push was coming but i didn't really say anything because i knew Matt needed to sleep and in the next room a lady had been pushing for two hours. (ugh i felt so bad for her.) by 3:30 I beeped the nurse and told her that i felt some major pressure, and i told Matt to call my mom and his parents to get down to the hospital. I need my mom there and I was so glad she was able to come in the room with us.  I did notice that Matt was pacing back and forth and was really nervous so I told my mom to go get his mom.  Some people might think its a little weird to have your mother-in-law in the room while giving birth but we have a pretty good relationship, and my privacy went out the window a long time before that.  The nurse didn't have to check me Jaxon's head was already showing.  So they got me ready to start pushing.  Finally my mom got there and Matt's parents and I started pushing at 3:55.  By this point in time I was so ready to meet our little guy.  I had been in labor for 3 days and i was determined to make him come fast, even though they said usually first time moms have to push for a couple of hours.  (i just thought ugh how am i going to do this)  Anyways I started pushing and i could feel him coming.  It was the most amazing, and scary feeling.  I tried to listen to the nurses and the doctor and try to do everything they say.  about 15 minutes later they said his head was popping out and that he had lots of hair.  I was so excited, i wanted to see him so bad (but i was not about to peek down there, way to scary)  So with each contraction i did my best to push him out and ten minutes later I saw him in the doctors arms.  He was not crying yet, the doctor did something to get all the gunk out of his mouth and he let out a huge cry.  I felt so much love at that moment.  He was beautiful.  They handed him to me and it made all the pain of the last 3 days worth it.  I thought wow how lucky we are to have him, and him be healthy.  They let me hold him for about two hours because the girl in the other room was still pushing.  (that poor women)  They had me feed him and then they cleaned him off, gave him some shots, and then weighed and measured him.  He weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces, and was 19 inches.